iii. a circle of sex
conversation with a sex toy
conversation with a sex toy
"the womanizer is an unfortunate name for a relatively new sex toy that gently suctions the clitoris while vibrating around it. basically wowzerpants."127
nipples are magic
nipples are magic
"it has recently occurred to me that claiming the massive possible pleasure coming from nipples is a feminist activity."131
it's bloody fantastic
it's bloody fantastic
"since forever, my bloody, messy, crampy, and moody period has landed during a visit early in the...togetherness. suddenly i'm there, a few hundred dollars into a crush, hoping they're on team bloody awesome."135
highs, lows, and blows of casual sex
highs, lows, and blows of casual sex
"what do you count as casual sex?"143
holiday simmons
holiday simmons
"holiday simmons is a transmasculine, two-spirit, black and indigenous organizer and educator based in atlanta. holiday is someone i've watched grow and transition, someone i've known to be open in teaching others as he learns how longing, trauma and gender have shaped him."153
nenna joiner
nenna joiner
"nenna joiner greets you when you come through the door, down past the rainbow of dildos, vibrators, floggers, and pornography, smiling and at ease, sexy and friendly. since she opened her store the feelmore adults gallery on telegraph avenue in oakland, i have been a patron and a fan."165
sami schalk
sami schalk
"sami is the author of bodyminds reimagined: disability, race, and gender in black women's speculative fiction. she also teaches at the university of wisconsin, where three floor-to-ceiling bookshelves of black feminism and science fiction have her back."168
chanelle gallant
chanelle gallant
"chanelle gallant has been a delight, comrade and teacher of mine in the realm of sex trade. she is currently working on a book--a theory of sexual labor."177
sub-section: skills for sex in the #metoo era
sub-section: skills for sex in the #metoo era
#metoo to #weconsent
#metoo to #weconsent
"in 2004, tarana burke started a me too movement, centered around black women and girls telling their stories of sexual harassment and assault at the hands of men."195
it's about your game
it's about your game
"beloveds, i'm observing a pattern in the flood of #metoo and #itwasme stroies: a lot of us don't know how to articulate what we really want and don't want in real time."201
it's time to reclaim your skin
it's time to reclaim your skin
"this is a time where everyone needs to bring their best selves. we are actively making a case for our species to exist on this beautiful planet."208
i want you, but i'm triggered
i want you, but i'm triggered
"we don't see it coming. we are having a moment of intimacy: a moment we've been desiring and have been moving toward."211
strategic celibacy
strategic celibacy
"recently there's been a lot of back and forth about the line between bad sex and rape. for some people, this public dialogue has made us look back at our own intimate lives with new eyes."217
liberating your fantasies
liberating your fantasies
"what are your go-to fantasies? what do you imagine that arouses you? have you shared it with anyone?"221
pornography and accountability
pornography and accountability
"in 2016, among the top pornography searches for men were "stepmom" "stepsister" "mom" "teen" and "stepmom and stepson. men also liked videos in the categories of "japanese" "ebony" and "asian," in that order.223
use your [words] voice
use your [words] voice
"as the incredible unveiling of #metoo has progressed, i've been in a community of people who are also unveiling new realms of sexual confusion and trauma."229